Tuesday, November 22, 2016

Doink, Undertaker & more

Previously, I was talking (generally speaking) about how certain characters should be failures/successes, only to somehow do the opposite. I'd like to delve deeper into a few characters, specifically. How many I end up mentioning hasn't been determined, so this could awhile.

Doink the Clown
Played by several people over the years, Matt Bourne likely being the best remembered, Doink is a character that, by all rights, should've been a massive failure. I won't claim that Doink was a great success. However, I'm of the opinion that Doink was a far better character then often given credit for. At least, this holds true when Doink was a heel. As a face, not so much. Definitely as a heel.

When Doink was a heel, as you'd expect, he'd pull pranks on the faces. It would be common tactics, like dumping a bucket of water on an unsuspecting wrestler. I believe he once used a trip wire on the Big Boss Man. Nailing Crush with a prosthetic arm started a feud between the two.

If he had difficulties beating his opponent, a second Doink (played by the likes of Steve Keirn, Steve Lombardi, etc.) would come out replace the first Doink. A switcheroo would take place with Doink #2 hiding under the ring. Doink #1, when needed, would roll under the ring. While the ref and opponent where distracted on one side of the ring, the second Doink would crawl out from the opposite side of the ring and continue the match.

While a standard tactic, typically involving masked wrestlers, the right people managed to play the part. I've said for years that you can get a truly horrible idea. With the right person, you can get just about anything over. Some ideas, however, are just so horrible, nobody can make it work.

A face Doink is one of those things that I feel never stood a chance. Everyone expects the bad guys to eventually get what's coming to them. When your character is based around the idea that you're pranking others, pranking others constantly is something a jerk would typically do.

I know good people do pranks of their own. I get it. We've all pranked others at one point or another. Those that do it non-stop are the ones that are typically disliked by others. Nobody likes it when someone else is doing it so often to others. So, when a good guy does it, it makes others ask what the hell are they thinking?

I would think if a bad guy gets pranked, that just motivates them to kick your ass. Good guys would really be no different on this concept. Did WWE forget that heels want retribution when they're being jacked around by others? I can see using pranks if the bad guy starts the feud, as a way of annoying them. But, that just doesn't feel like something a good guy would typically do for very long.

It's any wonder why face Doink didn't do so well.

Undertaker
When the concept of the Undertaker was first put to paper, WWE creative staff must've been wondering what the fuck Vince McMahon was thinking. I know I would've questioned his sanity. How are you supposed to book a character like this? We're talking about an undead wrestler who either can't feel pain or has an insanely high tolerance to pain. This is a character that wasn't supposed to be knocked down easily. When knocked down, he couldn't be kept down long. No way anyone could beat him by submission, as he couldn't feel pain. You can't keep him down long enough to pin him.

To say that booking him would be difficult. Granted, Undertaker was created when jobbers were frequently used, so it would be easy enough to give him a huge winning streak. When facing top stars, he only lost when somehow counted out or disqualified.

One of the early questions had to have been "how do we book him in title situations?" After all, a character like this should be capable of easily dominating any champion that got in his way.

Yet, through no small miracle, Undertaker became a success rather quickly. After 25 years, approximately, Undertaker's popularity is still going strong.

No selling his opponents was a huge necessity in the early days. In order to look invincible, Taker had to look like he couldn't be hurt. Selling anyone's offense would've destroyed the credibility of the character. It goes to the same point whenever you have a monster character. You need them to look devastating. If King Kong Bundy or Big John Studd looked like any average wrestler could hurt them, they wouldn't be effective as big men. Same logic with Undertaker.

Granted, as time progressed and attitudes changed, Undertaker was able to move away from being completely indestructible. He was eventually able to take on a few "human" qualities. This included having flaws, including the ability to make mistakes, having emotions cloud his judgement, and so on. His character was able to retain certain supernatural characteristics and high tolerances for pain. Even now, people will still enjoy characters with supernatural powers.

Don't believe me? Just pay attention to TV or movies. Every so often, another movie will come along involving one or more characters with superpowers. Harry Potter was popular because of magical powers. Not much of a difference between magic powers and super powers. It's all in the technicalities.

For Undertaker to keep his "powers" throughout most of his career, most fans didn't seem to care. It wasn't that anyone really believed that Taker could "rise from the dead", whenever placed in a casket. Somehow works in religion, but that's a discussion best avoided for this blog.

This could be a good example of the right person playing the part. Typically, most fans will suspend reality....but only so far. When it becomes a bit ridiculous, such as the Katie Vick angle, fans will have only so much patience before finally having a few shitfits.

Speaking of ridiculous stuff, I have to ask why certain people are tortured with so many bad ideas. Glenn Jacobs would be a prime example of this. A wrestling dentist. Fake Diesel. The Katie Vick angle. If I'm not mistaken, he was a Christmas Creature, at one point......or some shit similar to Christmas Creature.

How do guys like Glenn get so many bad ideas thrown in their direction? There are times where I have to believe Kane has pissed someone off in WWE.....or people have one sick sense of humor. There's a select few that I have more pity for, mostly because they've been saddled with some screwy shit.

Hector Guerrero has got to be at the top of the list. Some of you might be old enough to be familiar with LazorTron. I'll want to save that for a later day. Sadly, that won't be the most embarrassing thing he's ever done. You really don't get much lower when you get stuck wearing a turkey costume. Gobble-Gobble.

If you have no clue what I'm talking about, just Google Gobbeldy Gooker. Trust me, it was bad. When you have an award named after a character you played, honoring gimmicks and ideas that were horrible, well.....it would be enough to make most people depressed. Poor Hector. He must've on Vince McMahon's bad side.

With this depressing note, I'll put a momentary end to this article.

Tuesday, November 8, 2016

the good, the bad, and the ugly

Gimmicks. Wrestling has been full of them decades. Gimmicks are truly a necessary evil. It may not always seem like it, but everything we see is a gimmick, to one degree or another. Referees, for example, are one such point. Can't have a match if we didn't have someone "officiating" the matches. The matches alone are a gimmick, considering they have winners and losers determined in advance. Don't forget the matches can even have different rules, depending on what a promoter wants to accomplish for a particular match. The commentators? Someone needs to sell the storylines/angles to the fans watching on TV.

The wrestlers themselves are obvious, as are most of the stuff you'll see.

With that said, most fans will admit that there are great gimmicks. Some, not so much. Then, there are those that are downright ugly. Let's see how many I can cover before going batshit crazy.

Considering I've been watching religiously since the late 80's (casually since '83-'84), I've seen my share of gimmicks that truly qualify as good, bad, and downright nasty. I'll try to be as fair as possible, considering different factors. As an example, I'm not going to complain about the Iron Sheik as his character/gimmick was par for the course, at that time. Same could be said for Sgt. Slaughter, for similar reasons.

Some gimmicks are never appropriate ever, no matter what. Jeep Swenson, being billed as the Final Solution, should be a great example of this point. I know I used to sleep during History class, but I have to think the creative team in WCW must've skipped their history classes outright. I still managed to get high marks in History, despite my frequent naps.

I'm debating on the Katie Vick angle, as that's more of a bad storyline as opposed to an actual gimmick. Maybe I'll just include anything that's good, bad, or ugly. If I include storylines, then this is also a prime example of something that never should've left the drawing boards. Why it was even contemplated is completely beyond me.

While we get ideas that are pure ugly, we still manage to get ideas that scream "what were they thinking?" Gobbeldy Gooker is one such idea. It was hyped for several weeks, leading to the 1990 Survivor Series. This is probably better remembered for the debut of the Undertaker.

Speaking of Undertaker, that's one idea that must've looked horrible on paper. After all, we're talking about an undead zombie character that couldn't feel pain. We're talking about a character that debuted roughly two decades before the Walking Dead debuted on TV.

I realize zombie-esque characters have been huge in TV and movies for a long time. Not entirely sure when this concept first began. Yet, having a character like that in wrestling could've made things a bit difficult, to say the least. After all, when you look at a wrestler that can't feel pain, you can't make him submit. Can't beat him in a match if you can't make him tap out.

When a wrestler can't feel pain, it's hard to slow him down, let alone get him on his back. Pinfalls would be difficult, to put it nicely. When you get a match like a Last Man Standing match, how do you stop someone that can't be put down for more then a couple seconds?

Yet, Undertaker's character not only caught on, but remained popular for over 26 years. Amazing, to put it mildly.

Then we have characters like Doink.  Decades before the creepy clown phase we've been going through, we had Doink the Clown. I'd like to think we got rid of the creepy clowns, but most of them are still in DC.

On a serious point, Doink started off as a heel that loved pulling pranks on fans and wrestlers. You'd think this would've become annoying shit. Yet, as a heel, Doink was actually pretty damned entertaining. As a face, not so much. As a heel, definitely entertaining. Then, to be honest, heels typically represent certain aspects of human society we don't always want to admit to. This includes being an egotistical prick that can't do anything wrong (Mr. Perfect), that rich asshole that can buy whatever he pleases (Million Dollar Man), the jerk that plays pranks on people who are otherwise too nice (Doink).

Knowing how people generally behave, it should be no surprise that a heel Doink succeeded at all. As a real life example, my brother was at his church on a Saturday. It was during the late morning/early afternoon. He had promised he'd help with some minor stuff, mostly light cleaning. The head pastor had stepped out when my brother showed up. Left the door unlocked so bro wouldn't have to wait for the pastor to arrive.

When the pastor arrived, he could easily spot bro's vehicle in the parking lot. Didn't think much of anything for 10-20 minutes. After awhile, he realized that he didn't see or hear bro. Something seemed odd, so the pastor looked around the church to see if he could find my bro.

Long story short, the pastor entered a room, only to have my brother bark at him like a dog. Bro was crouched in such a position that he couldn't be spotted until it was too late. Bro nearly took a foot to the face, do to the panic he caused with his pastor, but it was worth it. The pastor didn't live this down for a couple of months.

It's really the idea that stuff like this, as funny as it may be to certain people, is easily relatable.  It's not much different then a bunch of teenagers at a different church bro had been a part of, previously. They ended up in a snowball fight that ended up in the church itself, briefly. A snowball ended up wizzing past the head of a woman, scarring her to the point she had to go home and freshen up, to put it nicely.

While most of the adults were fuming over this, when my brother found out about it, he was laughing to the point he nearly went home to freshen up.

Maybe it's stuff like this that allows people to enjoy goofy and/or unusual characters. Much like having a darker personality that allows us to appreciate dark characters. When we see characters like Eugene, a "mentally challenged" wrestler, fans typically want to cheer on the underdog. Well.....I'd certainly say a "mentally challenged" wrestler would be a major underdog.

Sure, Eugene was meant as comic relief, but he was certainly an underdog. People love to see others succeed when they would normally fail, otherwise. Doesn't matter if it's in a movie, TV, real life or what not.

In this regards, Eugene had a benefit. He was good in the sense that people wanted to see him overcome the odds. Granted, the guy that played the part (Nick Dinsmore) was a highly competent performer. That certainly made the character more entertaining.

It can be amazing just what characters will become popular while others fail. Since it's getting late, I'm calling it a night. More on this later.